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Golden Morn

Scene 1: In a ‘supermarket’ in Nsukka.

Me: Please, do you have Golden Morn?

Girl: (walks round shop and returns) No, we don’t have it.

Scene 2: Another shop.

Me: Good morning, do you have Golden Morn?

Man: What?

Me: Golden Morn.

Man: Golden Malt?

Me: Golden Morn!

Man: Golden Money?

Me: Never mind.

Scene 3: Yet another shop.

Me: I’m looking for Golden Morn.

Girl2: Eh?

Me: Golden Morn.

Girl2: (gets up and looks at shelves, returns.) Is that a kind of perfume or what? What is that thing?

Me: It’s a kind of cereal.

Girl2: (confused look).

Me: It’s somehow like cornflakes.

Girl2: Oh. We don’t have.

Scene 4: One last shop.

Me: Good morning, do you know Golden Morn?

Man2: What?

Me: Golden Morn!

Man2: No.

Me: (thinking) Maybe I should just eat Igbangwu.

*Curtains*

I shouldn’t have come here today. Eden- God’s Backyard. It’s scrawled in charcoal across the wall of the …

via God’s Backyard- By Nkem Awachie.

Click on the link to read this story.

Saraba Magazine on Sex : Saraba Magazine.

Saraba Magazine Calls for Submissions

Saraba Magazine is accepting short fiction, poetry, creative non-fiction, and excerpts that reflect the diversity of sex and sexuality. Note that the publishers and editors have a bias for experimental writing
The magazine’s 11th Issue will explore the subject of sex and sexuality – sex as ‘being’ and sex as ‘doing.’ How does sex manifest itself as a question of personhood, difference, affection, rights, protest, etc.
Interested writers who are unsure about their work are advised to send queries to the Managing Editor of Saraba Magazine. Submissions can be made through their Submissions Portal.

Guidelines:

Send your work in an attachment in any of our three major categories: Fiction, Poetry and Non-Fiction.

Send no more than one work at a time, and wait for a response before you send another.

Fictional works should have a maximum 5,000 words. Poets are allowed to send a maximum of 3 poems. Non-fiction submissions are expect to contain a broad range of new creative writing, including short memoirs, interviews, reviews, creative non-fiction, creative journalism, etc. Word count limit for this is 2,500 words.

Submissions are also open to digital art including photographs, illustrations, paintings and so forth. Kindly send in high resolution jpeg files (not larger than 4 MB).

 

Submissions should be accompanied by a bio of not more than 50 words

 

To submit, use the Submission Manager or CLICK HERE.

 

For more information, go to the SARABA MAGAZINE WEBSITE

or click the heading link.


Classroom

Scene: A lecture hall with big slide windows on both sides. Vacant seats at the back. In front, students are seated, clad in formal, black and white attire. Over the sound of muted conversation, music wails from a mobile phone. Lecturer appears at a window. Music stops. Lecturer enters.

Lecturer: Whose phone was playing music before I came in?

A male student raises hand.

Student 1: It was I, sir.

Lecturer: Walk out! Go and find the music department. This is the Faculty of Law.

Student 1 leaves.

A female student sneezes.

Lecturer: Why did you sneeze? Are you a he-goat?

Student 2: No, sir.

Lecturer: Do have a handkerchief with you?

Student 2: Yes, sir.

Lecturer: Use it, then. Stop spreading your disease to the rest of the class.

Student 2 searches handbag, brings out nothing, closes bag.

Lecturer: Where is your handkerchief?

Student 2: I don’t have one, sir.

Lecturer: Walk out!

Student 2: Huh?

Lecturer: I do not tolerate liars in my class.

Student 2: Sir, I am not a liar.

Lecturer: Why did you tell me you have a handkerchief when you have none?

Student 2: Sir, I do have a handkerchief. I only just realized that I did not bring it to class.

A male student shuts a window.

Lecturer: Why did you shut the window?

Student 3: The sun’s rays bother me, sir.

Lecturer: Is that enough reason for you to shut off the entire class’ supply of oxygen? Are you butter? Will you melt in the sun? Look at you. If there’s money under the sun, you’ll go pick it. Get back to your seat and stop disturbing my class. If you walk about like this in court, you’ll be imprisoned for three months.

Another male student enters.

Lecturer: What? What an insult! How dare you walk into my class without waiting for my permission?

Student 4: But I bowed at the door, sir, just like you told me to.

Lecturer: You bowed. That means you requested permission to enter. That does not mean that I granted you permission. And when did I tell you to bow? Have I seen you before?

Student 4: Yes, sir. I was late to your last lecture.

Lecturer: You! You’ve been late to all my lectures! Come here.

Lecturer ushers Student 4 to a front row seat.

Lecturer: Are you alright?

Student 4: Yes, sir.

Lecturer: Are you very sure?

Student 4: I’m sure sir.

Lecturer: Do you come from off-campus?

Student 4: No, sir, I stay in the hostel.

Lecturer: Are you going through any serious crisis?

Student 4: No, sir.

Lecturer: Do you eat? Do you sleep?

Student 4: Yes, sir.

Lecturer: Then, you must be a slug. Walk out!

Student 4: Sir?

Lecturer: You have absolutely no reason to come late to class, but you do. You are lazy and sluggish. I do not tolerate lazy and sluggish students in my class. Walk out!

Student 4 leaves. Lecturer faces the class. He squints at a female student.

Lecturer: Do I know you?

Student 5: You are my lecturer, sir.

Lecturer: Not that. I’ve seen you outside this school environment. Wait, let me think… Shoprite!

Student 5: Yes, sir.

Lecturer: How many times have I seen you there?

Student 5: Three times, sir.

Lecturer: Do you work there?

Student 5: No, sir.

Lecturer: Then what do you go there to do? Are you a shopaholic?

(silence)

Lecturer: Have you bought the recommended textbook for this course?

Student 5: No, sir.

Lecturer: Walk out! Go and shop for your textbooks.

Lecturer notices another female student.

Lecturer: Why do you have that big ring on your finger? Are you married?

Student 6: No, sir.

Lecturer: Engaged to be married?

Student 6: No, sir.

Lecturer: Is it an attempt to discourage young men from running after you, by giving them the impression that you’re already taken?

Student 6: No, sir.

Lecturer: Are you taken? Do you have a boyfriend?

Student 6: No, sir.

Lecturer: Then, take off that flamboyant piece of jewelry and stop distracting my class!

Student 6: Yes, sir.

Lecturer: Now, for today’s Lecture…

*Curtains*

 

Rain

I’m standing in the rain. It soaks my tank top and jeans and sneakers. It soaks my weave, my bones. I’m standing with my face turned upward, wanting more. I want the rain to fall faster, harder. I want it to hit me like stones, to wash against me like the waves of a tsunami. No, I want the rain to wash me away, take me where the water goes. I pull off my top. I want the rain to beat my chest, to soak my heart. I want it to fall on my heart. How else can I stop it from bleeding? The rain beats me, the sky is bleeding. Nature weeps with me. I let the tears soak me. I scream. It comes out as a gurgle. The rain water chokes me. I take off my shoes, my socks. They’re too heavy. There is only so much I can carry. I feel the mud with my toes. My feet sink in. My heart bleeds still. The rain beats me. I can’t see the sky. I can’t feel my tears. The cold makes my fingers numb. I can’t feel. I lie in the mud. The rain will beat me till my heart stops bleeding.

Uganda Women Writers Association (FEMRITE) calls for submissions for her 4th Regional Women Writers Residence to be held in November 2012. This is an inspiring initiative that brings together upcoming African women writers. The main objectives of the residency are:

– To bring established writers to mentor upcoming African women writers
– To give upcoming Ugandan women writers the opportunity to interact with women writers from the continent
– To give African women writers conducive space and time pursue their writing projects
– To create opportunities for inter-cultural discourse among women writers
– To strengthen collaboration among women writers’ initiatives in Africa
– To generate short stories for publication in an anthology

At the end of the residence, we expect the writers to have:
1. had mentoring sessions with an established writer
2. improved at least one of their writing projects
3. enriched each other’s manuscripts through discussion
4. submitted their improved short story for the residency anthology

HOW TO APPLY
Interested women are required to submit;
1. Part of a novel / short Story collection in WORD document (40 pages, typed in Times New Roman, font 12, 1.5 spacing).
2. A short story for publication in the residency anthology
3. A brief bio (not more than 10 lines)

This call is open to African women living on the continent. Writers already attached to writers groups in their countries are encouraged to apply.

Deadline for submissions is 30th April 2012

Please Note:
1. All applicants will receive notification by email once their manuscripts are received.
2. The Residency targets 15 writers
3. The Residency will last two weeks in November 2012
4. Successful applicants will be notified by 30th August 2012.
5. Successful published applicants will be kindly requested to donate copies of their works to the FEMRITE Resource Centre
6. Applicants should not have published more than one book.
7. FEMRITE will solicit support to meet costs of travel, accommodation, & meals.

For inquiries and submissions, please email info@femriteug.org

http://www.femriteug.org

Kalahari Review is interested in material exploring Africa and Africans in unique and avant-garde ways. They are looking for unique stories told in original voices. They are also interested in pieces about (and from) Africans residing abroad.
Kalahari Review is a new literary magazine in Botswana. And the Editors hope to push the limits and expose the world to the aspects of Africa not often shown – both the positives and the negatives.

Kalahari review is a web-based publication and there are no word count restrictions.

Compensation will be paid on publication.

All submissions should be emailed to: editor@kalaharireview.com

  • Guidelines:
    Fiction, Poetry, Essays, and Humor pieces: Should be sent as a PDF or WORD attachment and should be accompanied by a proper query letter. Kindly include your contact details including full name, postal address, e-mail and telephone number in the body of the query letter.
  • Photos, Art Work and Cartoons Portfolios: Should be sent as a PDF, JPG. or PNG attachments and should be accompanied by a proper query letter. Ensure that you include your contact details: full name, postal address, e-mail and telephone number in the body of the query letter. (Note: this area particularly the publication is interested only in avant-garde content. They are not interested in ordinary wildlife or landscapes. Portraits will be considered if they have a unique quality to them.)
  • Feature articles, Profiles, Conversations and Interviews: Please attach your pitch letters as a PDF or WORD attachment. Please include any photos or graphic illustrations that you feel would help your pitch. Please include your contact details including full name, postal address, e-mail and telephone number in the body of the letter.

    Note:

  • Thoroughly check your submissions for proper formatting, grammar and punctuation. Gross errors in these areas will hinder the chances of manuscripts consideration for publication.
  • Kindly ensure that query letters are properly written.
  • No deadlines were mentioned in the original publication. However, interested writers are advised to submit their works as soon as possible as the magazine may be launched on April 1, 2012.
Good luck!

The Lumina Foundation ::Projects.

Annual Short Story Workshop: Entry Call, 2012.

To kick off its activities, Lumina Literary Agency hereby calls for unpublished short stories of not more than 2,500 words from African Writers living anywhere in the world. Sixty of these short stories will be selected and their authors will be invited for a workshop in Lagos in July 2012. At least one Nobel Laureate will be one of the facilitators of this workshop.

Deadline for submission is January 31, 2012. After the workshop,further selections would be from the work done at the workshop and these will be published in three collections. Royalty will be paid to the authors in the published collections accordingly. Reading sessions and short tours will also be organized to give the authors and their work ample publicity in addition to providing publishing outlets for their work.

Entry Rules:

Please sumbit only one short story along with a brief (Not more than 20 words) biodata and a recent photo (Portrait).

Email, send as attachment in PDF format to either of the coordinators

Or send by post to Lumina Literary Agency, Blue House, 19 Unilag Road, Yaba, Lagos.

For submissions and for further inquiries, contact the coordinators:
ogochukwupromise@yahoo.com and unomaazuah@gmail.com
Ogochukwu Promise, Unoma Azuah (Coordinators).

BN Prose: Rita’s Curve by Nkem Awachie | Bella Naija.

Follow this link to read my short story on Bella Naija.

Literary Star Search

literary search.

Is your story worth a million Naira? Enter for the Literary Star Search contest. You just might be the star!

WRITE Yourself to FAME & FORTUNE!!! in the Literary Star Search contest for Nigeria’s star writers in the SHORT STORY category (not more than 3,500 words long).

One Million Naira Grand Prize, N300,000 and N200,000 respectively for the second and third best places.

The best 25 stories will be published in a collection and entered for competition worldwide, including the Caine & Commonwealth Short Story Prizes

To apply, write not more than a 3,500 word short story (double space typing) and enclose with Three Thousand Naira (N3,000) Entry Fee in bank draft obtainable from any Zenith International Bank Plc branch nationwide, and payable (addressed) to Creative Alliance. Deliver by hand or courier service, addressed to:

Creative Alliance Nigeria Limited (Literary Star Search)
1, Oladosu Street, Off Toyin Street, Ikeja, Lagos

OR

Creative Alliance (Literary Star Search)
PO Box 2442 Ikeja, Lagos.

For further enquiries, please call: 08057712377; 08091031390

Email: ozoro4u@yahoo.ca; literarystarsearch@gmail.com; dreampartners@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.creativeallianceng.com/; http://www.creativealliance.blogspot.com/